Raised by “La Chancla”

Elizabeth April 27, 2012 9
Raised by “La Chancla”
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Were you raised by “La Chancla”?  If you are not sure allow me to take you down memory lane.  Where if “la chancla fits….” well, I think some of you know where I’m going with this.  Okay, so there you are watching the Publishing Clearing House commercial, you are 8 and your pajama outfit is a mix of a G.I. Joe top and He-Man shorts.  The commercial is getting to the good part where the Prize Patrol, armed with balloons and a gigantic check surprise grandma.

“You Just Won A Million Dollars!!”  is interrupted by the familiar sound of the chancla slapping your leg!  Before the Size 7 Made in CHINA can imprint itself on your now red, swelling epidermis, you are instantly reminded of the 3 possibilities as to why you are “getting it”.  (A.) You left a dirty dish in the sink, (B.) left the empty milk container in the fridge, or (C.) left the side gate open and the dog took off.  Again.  “Cuantas veces te dije que no…..(How many times did I tell you not to)” -fill in the blank.  Boy did that chancla sting (we considered ourselves lucky if mom didn’t use dad’s huarache) but it was a reminder that you did something that didn’t quite require an ass whooping but annoying enough that it needed to be addressed by some sort of corporal punishment (good thing it wasn’t the ear pinch!).  If you laughed and were instantly teleported back to those times, then you my friend were raised by the chancla.

Shoot I’m still getting chanclasos.  I’m no longer 8 and I’ve long out grown my G.I. Joe/He-Man PJ’s… Nevertheless those Publishing Clearing House commercials are still airing: Some things never change.  The chanclasos I’m getting are now are handed out by life, the mother of all mothers.  These cosmic chanclasos are yet again a reminder of the things I need to get right.  They aren’t anything that is of extreme importance, but they are things that would impede a happier and peaceful state of being.

Let’s take for example being late to a set appointment, or worse a first date!  Oh man that definitely deserves a chanclaso.  How about neglecting to stop and pump gas, cause you swear it got you an extra 10 miles on the E position the last time, only to realize that the change of weather affects how gas fumes dissipate and you are now stranded by the side of the road and the nearest gas station is 3 miles away.  How bout this one, leaving a dirty dish in the sink over night and finding that the cereal residue has stuck hard like cement and as you scrub extra hard, all of a sudden it becomes clear to you why your mom gave you a chanclaso in the first place.  We damn well deserved it!

Chanclasos are just love taps and sometimes we still need those reminders until we get it right.  Sure it could be a lot worse and the situations a bit more severe, but being raised by the chancla only means that we were loved enough to be corrected for our own good and benefit.  Sure it can be argued that it was child abuse, but that’s not what I am talking about here.  Ask anyone of us who was raised by the chancla and we would say…  Nah I deserved those chanclasos!

9 Comments »

  1. Alessandro Negrete April 27, 2012 at 7:15 pm - Reply

    I loved reading this….in my mind I had moments of nostalgia and self.realization….Liz it was great

    <3

    • Elizabeth
      Elizabeth April 27, 2012 at 8:34 pm - Reply

      Alessandro, it’s a def’ a memory lane experience! 😀

  2. Claudia April 27, 2012 at 7:52 pm - Reply

    Liz I so love this! Its so funny how fast we forget where we came from! N y we r there in the first place! I guess Its because we Came from a generation that was disiplined. If more kids got the chancla now a days there b no need for meds a simple chanclaso can straighten up any kid! Lol

    • Elizabeth
      Elizabeth April 27, 2012 at 8:33 pm - Reply

      Claudia! You already know how we do this baby!

  3. jonathan
    Jonathan April 27, 2012 at 8:00 pm - Reply

    Dude, I could relate to this story so much. My parents weren’t all crazy disciplinary with the chancla. It was more her brother EL SINTO. He was ruthless.

    • Elizabeth
      Elizabeth April 27, 2012 at 8:38 pm - Reply

      Oooo baby! El sinto was awful! I remember this one time Jon we hid that mofo in the oven.. My mom went to preheat the oven to make her famous “Pollo en el horno” only to realize that something was burning… El sinto was hidden there and cooking..Ever had your butt whooped by a steamy leather belt? I don’t recomend it! ;D

  4. Gina West April 27, 2012 at 9:24 pm - Reply

    This takes me back. My mom practised the flying chancla. She could be in the kitchen while I was sitting in front of the tv in the living room, she would give an order only once, give 20 seconds for response or to get up and do what I was told. If there was nothing happening, the chancla would FLY across the room and never missed hitting its target. I think my mom should have piched for the Dodger, they would have never missed a game back then. RIP mom, I still have the last pair of chanclas you wore.

    • Elizabeth
      Elizabeth April 27, 2012 at 9:54 pm - Reply

      Gina! That is funny as hell!! I’m so glad you can relate!! Thank you for sharing!!

  5. Joey March 8, 2013 at 1:01 am - Reply

    Saw a Chinese woman deliver a flying chancla last week. did not understand the chinese but i sure do know what was being said. did not expect to see a chanclaso in east coast China… still feel sorry to the kid. talked to my girlfriend about it, Chinese deal out the chanclasos just as freely as Latinos.

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