BLOG: Tales from the Wicked West

Jorge Zamora December 30, 2012 0

I know for a fact that history repeats itself, but why are behaviors repeating themselves? Behaviors are learned and can be controlled with the proper psychology. That’s right parents, in this day and age, it’s time to step it up and not only work a full-time job, but be the best counselor/psychologist to your kids. I asked myself the other day, why am I so deviant towards my society, and that’s when I fell back into my childhood to remember what exactly went on. I was always told to forget about my past, and to just move on. How can I ever teach anyone to learn from my mistakes, when the real mistake originated from my past. It seems like everyone who I told my story to would just tell me to move on, and leave it buried in the past. I’ve moved on, but I did it by going back to my past. I look at society today, and I see nothing different. Sadly my story will repeat itself, after all the damage has been done.

My mom was one of those parents. It’s not her fault though. This summer we picked at each other’s brains and I brought up a lot of questions about my childhood. This was something that I have never done before because I did not have the time. I was always working, drinking, and partying. I took time off from work this summer. It was unpaid time off because I simply just quit. I ran like some of these kids displayed below in the video. I got to know my mom a little better and I think it really bothered her because she was not used to seeing a young unemployed man at home. In Mexico, only the women stay home during the day, and they’re expected to clean. I noticed that whenever we would argue about something, she would start cleaning. It seemed as though she was so used to her everyday cleaning rituals, but her cleaning would become intensified when we would argue over questions I would ask her about my past.

One of the biggest verbal fights that took place between my mother and I was when I asked her this question. “Mom, if we could turn back time to the day you chose to cross the border, and a wish master stood there waiting for you. He said he could reveal your future in America and this is what he revealed:

  1. The neighbor from across the street will molest your youngest son for 5 years and he will continue to molest others.

 2.Your husband will succeed for some time with his liquor smuggling business across the US border.

3. Your husband will visit bars where he will meet women and engage in numerous affairs.

4. Your children will all become victims or batterers in domestic situations.

5. You will lose the relationship with your younger son because you will not accept his lifestyle so he will never want to be home.

6. Your younger son will also collapse in society thanks to drugs.

7. You will continue to stress with financial situations to get yourself and your kids out of this whole mess.

What would you choose? I will grant you this wish of crossing over to reach your American Dream, or you can simply walk back and remain poor but happy in your own country?”

If it looks like I was tormenting my mom and trying to make her feel bad, I really wasn’t. It was to help her realize what has happened in our past. I didn’t bring it up with the intentions to sit and dwell in it. It was just to raise her awareness so she could see how much evilness is still in this world. Sometimes it helps when people hear stories about what other people have experienced in life. I have gotten to the point where I am willing to sacrifice my pride by digging deep and pulling some skeletons out of my closet so the world can see. Whatever problem I come across recently has helped me realize that maybe my situations are not problems, but rather the solutions/coping mechanisms for the lack of parenting I never received.

I will share a few stories I have encountered recently in our society:

Story 1: There is this female I know who lets her youngest son and youngest daughter shower together. The boy grabbed her one day and the mom just said, “leave your sister alone.” The mother thought there was nothing wrong with it because they are brother and sister so they won’t look at each other in a funny uncomfortable way. The same daughter would stand in front of the mirror putting on makeup at the age of 7 and I even noticed her wearing her mother’s heels. Her mother would give her daughter her iPhone sometimes so that she would not bug her. She would YouTube videos such as, “how to do makeup like Rihanna or Lady Gaga”  This little girl spends hours in  front of the mirror trying to make herself look pretty just like her mother, and that’s a behavior she learned from watching her.

Story 2: There is a little boy that plays outside alone, while his dad sits in the living room cheering on the Lakers. He even screams at the television set when they make a mistake. His son reminded me of myself when I was a little boy. Outside all alone with a secret inside that needed to be told. This father probably would not spend enough time with his son, but he spent a lot of time involved with his favorite sports on TV. This little boy probably is hurting inside, and if you are wondering where this boy’s mom is, well his parents are divorced. She is out with the father of her baby that she is expecting soon.

Story 3: There is this young boy who is in high school, and his family is encouraging him to fight another boy at school who is provoking him. They tell this young boy to not let anyone try to punk him, to fight back or hit back. He thinks if he doesn’t do anything he will be ridiculed as less of a man. Some parents still think that violence solves problems. Maybe it’s a behavior that he/she learned as a child.

There is this one last story that has amazed me.

Story 4: This mother who uses drug one day told her friends to come over and spend time with her. The friends probably did not want to come over just to hang out. I have noticed a lot of people today expect something in return for their time, for example gas money for a ride. She then tells them in slang “I have shit.” Soon after that, her friends showed up. They were going to get rewarded with drugs. The daughter heard her mother say this, and even saw when her friends arrive. While her friends were sitting there, this little girl wanted them to play with her. One of the friends had a newborn baby she was holding, and this little girl wanted to hold her as well. The mother of this newborn baby said “no, she is too little.” Then the little girl said, “Please, I have shit!”

All of these were stories I have witnessed in just the past 3 months. I was devastated this whole summer because I was not able to put the man who molested me behind bars. It hurt me inside because I thought about the children who might be going through what I’m going through, difference is that I have reached out. All of these stories were from just Latino families. I told my mom it’s not her fault this happened to me, I did not blame her, she did not know better. She did not think another man would violate her youngest son. She also did not know that she was supposed to counsel me, and be my psychologist. I asked my mom if she knew what puberty was. She said it was just a time when your body changes. I asked her why she never talked to me about it when I was growing up. She said she thought school was going to take care of that. I looked at her and told her she was wrong. That’s not their job,  that is the parent’s responsibility to educate their kids on physical development and change. She didn’t say anything after that. Then my 8 year old niece walks in with a dress and sits on the couch. She was wearing no underwear, and I looked at my mom, and just walked out. I felt like nobody was taking my story serious about being sexually abused as a child. If parents were taking it serious, then they would start paying close attention to the behaviors their children display.

This world is wicked and people do the craziest things even to children, all to feed that stupid addictive thing we all know as our flesh.

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