About the author: Mikey Smilez View all posts by Mikey Smilez
Michael “Mikey Smilez” Narain is a New York City based crazy person! Well, if that doesn't quite distinguish him, he is a fun, warm, huggable and lovable caring individual with a killer smile (ching) and a nice rack. It’s really hard to write one of these for myself as I've learned not to be so egocentric… so It’s quite hard- that’s what he said! Well, I'm an opinionated babbler vlogger/blogger/comic by night and a substance abuse therapist by day. Most of my topics include self-actualization, LGBT issues, spirituality and that ever toilsome quest to find my future baby daddy. My goal is to be a hybrid of Ellen/Dr. Phil with some edge and sex appeal! Please join me on my quest as I tackle this thing called life and try to win a Grammy, Emmy, Tony, and maybe a Pulitzer prize, oh, GQ's man of the year might be great too.. or the Noble Peace Prize, what ever comes first.
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Gay males sometime have a difficult task embracing their inner identity. In life we transition through different phases starting with our primary reference of male identity which is conditioned by Paternal (male) parental impartations. However the family system can be disrupted due to an absentee father and maternal (feminine) roles traits are conditioned into a child by association. When males regardless of their sexual orientation are scrutinized for feminine traits there can be a process of self-rejection. In the gay lifestyle there is a huge glorification of HYPER MASULINE MEN Traits, particularly in men of color. Gay men will battle identity for a long time. Many may reject others who are perhaps reflective of who they internally battle and others many fully embrace the “REAL” them without conforming to what is idealized behavior. I struggled with conformity of behavior for many years. This battle of embracing myself and disregarding other’s opinion was similar to me coming out. After accepting your own individuality regardless of how feminine it maybe will be a liberating act, it takes time but self love is unparallel.
“We cannot think of being acceptable to others until we have first proven acceptable to ourselves.”
― Malcolm X